Another look at the mind body dialogue. The force of life lies within our body bringing forth our human energy. Those energy traces forge the bonds that form meaningful relationships in time and space and sustain us. The force of life starts with a tiny heart’s beating and does not stop until life’s last day when the heart no longer makes its inimitable squeeze.
The meaning of what is human is derived from the social appetence inscribed into it by mentors and those who tend to its garden from early on. Human growth stems from a carefully crafted blend of biological gifts and environmental design shaped over time. This may be lost without the core ingredients and nurturing bond that nourish it. In their absence, the vessel becomes incapable of tolerating life’s abject aloneness and may become diseased. The heart is a muscle that does not tire and yet it must be sustained or it quickly loses it lean and supple appearance slowly requiring more energy to power its life long lub-dub, lub-dub while still perfusing the body. Arguably, the interaction between one’s heart and one’s head is undeniable. What we do and how we think has much to do with the health of the body and ultimately, our life force.
Finding balance
It takes time to establish the human contacts needed to trust another person and put yourself in the hands of another with complete emotional certitude. The fundamental appetence for living is shaped by the relationships made during life. Those relationships that nurture and sustain may extend ones years of viability. Those relationships that suppress the normal, effusive, life force are detrimental to health much like a toxin.
Drawing produced by child being evaluated for firesetting
Fire sometimes symbolic of internal chaos
NEW BRAINTREE, MA It was once believed that playing with fire was a normal, developmental curiosity and could be expected. Fire is a tantalizing and visually captivating phenomena. It was once espoused that firesetting was symprtomatic of psychopathology that included cruelty to animals and enuresis. This triad of emotional indicators was thought to symbolize unmet needs and perhaps frustrated infantile drives states. The current reality suggests that errant use of fire material represents one of the most lethal expressions of childhood emotional turmoil and unbridled conduct. Depending upon the age of onset using fire as an expression of internalized conflict suggests a serious emotional disorder in need of expert assessment and treatment. The drawings of some children reveal an chaotic emotional development that may be portrayed by the violence among characters as shown in the drawing here. Each animal is drawn shooting fire or electric rays. The two main characters shown are Godzilla and Raptor who are engaged in a confrontation. Each character brings his crew to help eliminate the opponent using fire and electricity.
Exposure to fire and role models
What happens when the child turns one? His parents plop down a birthday cake with a burning candle set alight. While singing Happy Birthday the toddler sits transfixed as the waxy, flickering bulb melts before his eyes. Some believe early exposure to fire coupled with significant role models who use and misuse fire material cast the first spark of interest in fire. Curiosity in fire may be a normal childhood attraction. But in most cases the normal enchantment with fire represents one of many normal wonders that parents may introduce to children as they grow and mature. Meanwhile, just as one would not give a loaded firearm to a toddler, one cannot permit an unsupervised child to handle matches or lighters. The interest in fire becomes a parents responsibility to nurture and polish with age. This normal interest then foments in homes where the prevailing affective conditions permit – decreased emotional warmth, access to fire starting materials, an absent parent, and frequently domestic violence. The inconsistent and unpredictable exposure to violence contributes to excessive and unpredictable behavior.
Psychologist are frequently asked to differentiate children who light fires because of normal curiosity versus those who light fire out of a more pathognomic underpinning. I was once asked to evaluate a surviving 3-year old who lit a house fire killing his 4-year old cousin. The tragedy of this case transcended 4 generations living in one household and rendered them emotionally overwrought. “Just as we will not put a loaded firearm into the hands of an untrained child, so too must we guard against the unskilled, misuse of fire”, according to Michael Sefton, Ph.D.
Juvenile arson is a serious crime and has life threatening consequences. The cost to insurance companies is measured in the hundreds of millions of dollars across the country. The loss of life even more costly in terms of the human toll enacted upon families where children light fires. The truth is that all “fire play” may be hazardous and life threatening when fire gets out of control so access to fire materials like lighters and matches should be carefully limited. Just as parents kid proof their house when the baby is born so too should they make a house or apartment fire safe from the curiosity of a precocious child.
The most ominous case of juvenile fireplay occur in homes with one or both parents absent from regular, direct nurturing of the child. Why children choose fire play over other forms of acting out is not clear. There tends to be two peak ages where the incidence of fire play is peaked: 3-5 years and 12-15 years. It is far more common in boys than girls but girls tend to light fires that include personal belongings, Any use of combustibles or incendiary devices is highly significant and requires professional assistance. Programs such as that offered by YOU, Incorporated in Central Massachusetts have clinicians who understand the dynamics of fireplay and can help families deal with the risks. See the link below for a sensitive look at one particular story from the midwest.
New Braintree, MA I first looked at bullying in 2013 when I had transitioned from a high school where I practiced for 2 years. Bullying has been recognized as a significant factor in social development in terms of the negative impact that has been shown on victims of this repetitive intimidation and harassment. The underlying dynamic results from an imbalance of power among peers that has been linked to risk of adolescent suicide. Schools here in Massachusetts are taking a zero tolerance for bullying. Arguably, school districts across America have developed programs to combat bullies and reign them back into the social main stream but modern day bullying goes far beyond the playground. Some school districts offer mediation for bullies and victims with mixed results. When I served as a school psychologist in 2010, members of faculty were surveyed regularly by the principal about students they feared were being bullied and those who were doing the bullying but little was done to intervene.
Bullying has been an issue for children throughout time. I was bullied in grade 4. Now, with much dependence on social media and text messaging the problem of bullying has grown and is more powerful than ever. Students were once free from intimidation and the impact of bullying once they returned home. They could relax and allow the day’s torment to wash away. But with intimidating text messages and social media posts being sent and received almost 24 hours a day the true impact of bullying and the stress of being bullied can be a round the clock threat and humiliation.
15-year old Phoebe Prince killed herself after weeks of intense, humiliating rumors and threats that psychologically wore her down. “The investigation revealed relentless activity directed toward Phoebe designed to humiliate her and to make it impossible for her to remain at school,” District Attorney Elizabeth Scheibel said according to New York Daily News in 2010. Phoebe and her family moved to South Hadley, MA from Ireland. Almost as soon as she arrived in South Hadley she was preyed upon by the older boys and relentlessly humiliated by the girls in the form of text messages, physical taunts, and covert threats that arrived on her cell phone around the clock. Several months into this relentless torment Phoebe hanged herself at home. The social media humiliation became too much. This 15-year old Irish teen could not tolerate the vicious rumors, threats, and hostility simply because she was different. She was new.
By outward appearance the school did what they could but the system failed miserably – as it has with too many other children. Phoebe could not get away from the lies and rumors being cast by other students her age. Phoebe’s parents never knew the truth of the impact of social media on their child’s suicide. Most of us don’t know what impact a subtle post and running thread can have on an uncertain mind. Fear and intimidation may slowly rob the sense of self we each need to be productive and to thrive. In the moments as she planned for and prepared her final delivery, Phoebe was entirely alone with her anguish. No person should die this way.
Children need consistent, firm limits with allowance for individual choices that are unique to them, according to author Michael Sefton
In recent weeks there have been a host of noteworthy arrests of juveniles who committed crimes out of bordom including the beating of a 88 year old veteran who was murdered. How can this happen? In past generations, when teenage children were bored they play baseball, listened to music, or rode thier bikes. Some believe adolescents are not equipped to deal with bordom and cannot tolerate having nothing to do. Some say this is linked to a need for “instant gratification” and hunger for stimulation triggered by computer video games. That is the subject of on-going debate. People ask “where are the parents of these children?”
In Spokane, WA police have charged two 16-year old boys with first degree murder for the killing of Delbert Belton, a WW-II veteran. People have said “there is nothing to do around here in the summer” according to an NBC News report. The Spokane police chief has called for youth programs to help mentor adolescents and provide appropriate role models. The uncle of Kenan Adams-Kinard, 16, believed his nephew had fallen in with the wrong crowd and now needed to be responsible for his actions. Adams-Kenard is charged as an adult with murder. In Fort Worth, TX, a 13-year old boy was arrested in June for murdering a 5-year old boy who was found bludgeoned to death. And in Logan, Iowa, a 17 year old boy living in foster care is alleged to have murdered a 5-year old with whom he lived. That child was found in a nearby ravine. The motives in each of these cases are not readily apparent.
Michael Sefton, Ph.D., author of The Evil that Kid’s Do suggests that a greater partnership between parents and the community is needed to provide for the emotional needs of teens. “Gangs and childhood violence result from a dearth of emotional resources and connection to others often compounded by exposure to domestic violence and child abuse” according to Sefton. Families need greater support than ever but many are living in the fringes. In The Evil that Kid’s Do, Dr. Sefton identified mentors, treatment for drug dependence, gang intervention, community religion, and keeping guns away from teenagers as possible action for keeping adolescents from becoming bored, angry, and marginalized. It is true that children who are bored often become frustrated and look for things to do. But healthy children fill in those blanks with prosocial activity – while angry, marginalized kid’s choose activity based upon underlying drives, tolerance and attachment.
As a police officer we are asked to come to juvenile court to present evidence and testimony in cases we bring forth. Some are cases of intact families with good support and others may be single parent families and still others are foster families. Would it surprise you if I said any of these family systems might have perfectly delightful children uninvolved in crime or delinquent behavior. We see so many of these kinds of families. In the same way, any of these family systems may produce a dangerous felon or drug dependent addict. It takes more than an intact family to raise self-confident, curious children who attend school with an appetite for learning. It takes a parental dyad that sets appropriate limits and model empathy, kindness, and social skills. Children need to learn what is right and wrong and what behavior will be accepted as they develop. All human beings make mistakes and should be taught how to succeed and shown forgiveness.
ROAD MAP TO VIOLENCE – WHAT CAN WE DO TO PREDICT VIOLENCE?
There is no single road map to understanding the complexity of human behavior in general and homicide in particular. If there were the rate of domestic violence homicide might be reduced to zero. Unfortunately behavioral analysis as a science has not evolved into a reliable enough predictor of murder and cannot envisage when terminal rage might be unleashed. The psychological autopsy is the study of individual cases that uncovers details about the pre-incident behaviors known as red flags. The application of this information can identify commonalities among cases of domestic violence so that police and social service agencies might have justification for early stopping and when necessary containment of high risk abusers.
ully crafted blend of biological gifts and environmental design shaped over time. This may be lost without the core ingredients and nurturing bond that nourish it. In their absence, the vessel becomes incapable of tolerating life’s abject aloneness and may become diseased. The heart is a muscle that does not tire and yet it must be sustained or it quickly loses it lean and supple appearance slowly requiring more energy to power its life long lub-dub, lub-dub while still perfusing the body. Arguably, the interaction between one’s heart and one’s head is undeniable. What we do and how we think has much to do with the health of the body and ultimately, our life force.
MSefton's Human Behavior Blog 