Love Bombing: “There is no danger to the general public” But wait.

“… He stood in the doorway with a loaded gun and talked about killing himself and/or the children and myself. He was bringing up old verbal threats and I thought they were going to come true”

Amy Lake – July 2010 (from a filed restraining order)


Domestic violence is not a private issue—it’s a public health crisis. Every year, millions of people in the United States experience physical, emotional, or psychological abuse at the hands of someone they love or once trusted. This abuse often happens behind closed doors, making it invisible to the outside world until it escalates into something fatal. But let us go back to the beginning of when something begins to go wrong. Love bombing is a term that has gained traction in discussions about relationships and mental health. It refers to a period, often at the beginning of a romantic relationship, where one partner overwhelms the other with excessive affection, attention, and gifts. While this might initially feel exhilarating, it can serve as a red flag for potential emotional and physical abuse later on. Understanding the concept of love bombing is crucial for recognizing unhealthy relationship dynamics and the psychology behind domestic abuse.

Amy Lake and her two children were murdered by her husband in 2010. Steven Lake killed himself as well and tried to light his children on fire either before or after they were dead. Right after the killings, a district attorney in Maine stated, “There was nothing we could have done to prevent these deaths.” These words sparked a team of professionals, including myself, to investigate the sequence of events that led to this tragedy. In 2011, a formal psychological autopsy was conducted after the murders, resulting in more than 50 recommendations to the Maine Attorney General’s Domestic Violence Board (Allanach et al., 2011). Our group conducted 200 hours of meetings with family, friends, and co-workers of the victim and her husband. We were not paid for our work.

In June 2011, Steven Lake of Dexter, Maine, violated a protective order four times before killing his wife, children, and himself. He stalked her on-line and had sycophants writing and praising him. He posted his love for his children daily and his groupies decried his virtue as a father. Despite the violations, Lake remained free, retained his collection of over 20 firearms, and faced no meaningful restrictions on his movement. This case demonstrates systemic failures that leave victims unprotected. This happens everywhere all too frequently. One of the most chilling aspects of domestic violence is how predictable it can be. Research has identified common red flags: escalating control, threats of harm or suicide, isolation from friends and family, obsessive jealousy, and access to weapons. Despite this knowledge, systems often fail to respond adequately when victims reach out—or worse, they don’t reach out at all due to fear, stigma, or lack of resources.

“Despite receiving some mental health counseling, it is apparent, in retrospect that the degree of violence and anger possessed by the abuser was not realized.”  Chief, Maine State Medical Examiner 2010

In many cases of domestic homicide, there were signs. Friends, family, neighbors, and even professionals sometimes miss—or are unsure how to respond to—the warning behaviors. The chief medical examiner in Maine acknowledged missing the risk Steven Lake posed to his wife and family was not identified soon enough to keep him contained. That’s why education and awareness are so critical but often falls short. And this is why behavioral scientists must look into the similarities of each case. All to often when the assailant is deceased there becomes no interest in a shakedown of the specific lead-up to the tragedy. In this case, and many others like it, taking the time to assess the facts of an assailant’s attack can lead to greater concern for people living with a protection order and the risk of allowing the recipient to remain out of jail.

A father killed his partner in front of his children, and then himself. This is called an intimate partner homicide-suicide or familicide in this case. These tragedies occur daily in the United States, and the impact is immeasurable. Surviving families mourn the loss of family members, and in some cases the mass murder of a family. Children grapple with the loss of their parents while surviving family members become their new caretakers. For those who survive, they may live with lifelong wounds and emotional trauma. 

In many cases of domestic homicide, warning signs were present. Yet, friends, family, neighbors, and even professionals often miss or struggle to address these red flags. This is why education and awareness are absolutely crucial. It’s also why behavioral scientists must analyze the commonalities between cases in the form of a psychological autopsy. Too often, when the perpetrator is deceased, the investigation into the events leading up to the tragedy fades away, leaving critical opportunities for learning and prevention unexamined.

Research consistently points to key warning signs: escalating control, threats of harm or suicide, isolation from loved ones, obsessive jealousy, and access to weapons. Yet, even with this knowledge, systems too often fail to act when victims seek help—or victims remain silent out of fear, stigma, or lack of resources. That’s why, when the district attorney claimed nothing could have been done to prevent this, we found his words far too disingenuous to be the last word on domestic violence homicide.

Too many women who are abused during times of crisis have no place to run and no effective protection. Orders of protection, without GPS monitoring or strict enforcement, fail to prevent repeat violations. Domestic violence doesn’t begin with homicide—it ends there. By taking earlier signs seriously, listening without judgment, and being willing to learn from past tragedies, we can create a safer future for individuals and families. It’s not enough to mourn; we must act.

Being aware of the signs of love bombing can help individuals protect themselves from potentially dangerous relationships. Some key indicators include:

Rapid Intimacy: The relationship progresses unusually quickly, with declarations of love or commitment happening within weeks.
Excessive Attention: The partner constantly showers gifts, compliments, and affection, making it difficult to understand the true nature of their feelings.
Pressure to Commit: There may be pressure to label the relationship or to make significant life decisions early on.
Mood Swings: The partner may alternate between extreme affection and sudden withdrawal or criticism, creating emotional instability.


  1. Allanach, R., Gagan, B., Sefton, M., & Loughlin, J. (2011, November 28). Psychological autopsy of June 13, 2011, Dexter, Maine domestic-violence homicides and suicide: Final report (Report No. 39). Pine Tree Watchdog. Retrieved from http://pinetreewatchdog.org/files/2011/12/Dexter-DVH-Psychological-Autopsy-Final-Report-112811-111.pdf
  2. Campbell, J. C., Glass, N., Sharps, P. W., Laughon, K., & Bloom, T. (2007).
    Intimate partner homicide: Review and implications of research and policy.
    Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 8(3), 246–269.
    https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838007303505 This study outlines risk factors for intimate partner homicide and emphasizes the importance of early intervention and assessment tools like danger assessments.

  1. National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).
    Domestic Violence National Statistics.
    https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS Provides updated statistics and information on the prevalence of domestic violence in the U.S., including its impact on survivors and communities.
  2. Violence Policy Center (2023).
    When Men Murder Women: An Analysis of 2021 Homicide Data.
    https://vpc.org/publications/when-men-murder-women/ Annual report analyzing FBI data on female homicide victims killed by male offenders, most often in the context of domestic relationships.
  1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2023).
    Preventing Intimate Partner Violence.
    https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html Offers insight into prevention strategies, risk factors, and public health approaches to addressing intimate partner violence.
  2. Sefton, M. (2017, February 26). Psychological autopsy may help answer questions in domestic violence homicide. Blogspot: MSefton Blog. https://msefton.blog/2017/02/26/psychological-autopsy-may-help-answer-questions-in-domestic-violence-homicide/
  3. Sefton, M. (2016, December 16). Domestic violence homicide risk factors. Blogspot: MSefton Blog. https://msefton.blog/2016/12/16/domestic-violence-homicide-risk-factors/

How Legal System Shortcomings Fail Domestic Violence Victims and what we may learn from these failings

WESTBOROUGH, MA – October 31, 2024 – I am writing in the aftermath of another murder suicide here in Massachusetts. It happened 3 months ago at the end of the school year. An adolescent girl was walking home from school and was abducted by her former step-father who is charged with raping her when she was 13. He was wearing an ankle bracelet designed to provide police with GPS coordinates when he deviated from going to and from his work place or if he deviated anywhere near the victim from whom he had a stay away order. Technically, as soon as he drove near the childs school or home the police should have been notified. But this did not happen and now the girl and the former step-father are dead. I have written to the Middlesex County district attorney here in Massachusetts about this case with ideas I have about domestic violence homicide and best practices, but so far, I have heard nothing back. I presume they have all the expertise and advice they require to help keep people safe from trolls and jealous spouses with outstanding orders of protection.

I am a former police sergeant and have looked at several cases each year that are compelling and I try to report these. I asked the local chief of police for the police reports on this case but was sent only the press release. My interest started both from my experience in law enforcement and also out of a response to the abject horror the so many of these cases, like this one. People living in fear, month after month, or in some cases years of fear. This case was delayed over and over. A common tactic used by defense attorneys to avoid going to trial at all. They are banking on the victim being too frightened to testify or better yet, the victim moves away and cannot be found. Victim witness advocates will tell you that teenaged children carry a great deal of shame with them after being victimized. Every delay or change in court dates can trigger fear and often self-doubt. Many know the protection orders have very little that prevents a stalking step-parent from wreaking terror on his victim and her family. In this case, the restraining order failed the victim in spite of the best efforts of law enforcement with things like old technology GPS monitoring.

This case flew under the radar because the criminal trial of the accused was re-scheduled 3-4 times over several years. It was finally headed toward the court room and it is a fact, that as this occurs the risk to potential victims increases as domestic violence cases plod toward a trial. Every change in court date is enough to put a frightened victim into crisis. Many if not most, victims of DV change their minds and do not prosecute. They often blame themselves for breaking up the family by coming forth with sometimes horrific accusations as in this case. In the long run, this impacts their emotional development and victims should be afforded all the support they require to be capable of going to trial. They often are too afraid to stand up and admit what was done to them. They feel shame and deeply frightened.

As I said, I am a former police officer and currently MA licensed psychologist working in here in Massachusetts. When I patrolled the town, I frequently stopped at houses known to us for domestic violence calls in the days afterward. I sometimes had one of our community policing officers with me in the aftermath of the call. When everything was settled down and the dust had cleared, I would stop and try to connect with the couple. Follow-up on recommendations I may have offered – like family or couples therapy and other local resources. And let them know help is available. I was surprised at how many families moved away soon after being involved in a family fight. Off my radar right? My understanding of domestic violence is that it cycles from guilt and shame to honeymoon and a family love fest. The cycling of coercive, violent behavior ramps up one a trial nears or some other dramatic change like divorce. These are the most dangerous times and any violations once the GPS monitor is in place should require arrest with no bail. While in containment, the psychological assessment must be initiated and presented to the court.

The double dose of the stigma of both suicide and intimate partner violence (IPV) leaves the details of many of these traumatic experiences untold. 
Everytown Research and Policy, 2024

“These tragedies often include children, family members, and friends.” Despite the devastation and immeasurable impact, these events garner little public attention and recognition as a frequent form of gun violence.” according to a story published on 8-8-2024. More needs to be done to protect child victims from known violent perpetrators such as Juliano Santana, who killed a 16-year-old girl a few weeks ago in Acton, Massachusetts. Child victims like the 13-year-old victim in this case often blame themselves for being physically assaulted or being groomed for sexual assault. They lack the developmental and emotional maturity to fully understand what has happened to them and often live in recurring fear that the rapist is going to come back and hurt them again or kill them next time. The media portrayal of these horrific events failed to ask the important question how did the perpetrator avoid being captured before he got to his one-time stepdaughter? He was attached to a GPS device, right? And where did he get the firearm used to kill the teen and turn it on himself? Well, it sounds as though the police have determined that the GPS may be partially to blame. As soon as they queried the device, they knew Santana was on the move and the victim was grave danger. And where did the deadly firearm come from?

“Access to a gun is the centerpiece of the dual tragedies of intimate partner homicide and suicide.” 

The GPS ankle monitor system did not protect the victim because it was not the type of monitor that would alert law enforcement when a suspect diverts from his programmed daily route or if he drove near the school or apartment complex where the victim lived. So, after 3 years the trial was set to begin in July 2024. That is usually a red flag and signals growing anxiety in both the victim and the suspect. Under state law, prosecutors cannot request a hearing to determine if someone is dangerous or whether he should be held in cases involving egregious cases of child rape. The rape of a child is de facto evidence of dangerousness in most circles.

As a former law enforcement officer and a now licensed psychologist here in Massachusetts and I have looked at DVH. I find it necessary to draft reports that highlight the murderer’s unpredictable violence. Certainly, the probation department looks at the perpetrator’s prior criminal history in making recommendations for bail. It is likely that Mr. Santana had no criminal history although we have not been told this fact. Juliano Santana drove to Acton with one thing in mind – to shoot and kill the 16-year-old girl whom he first violated 3 years prior when she was just 13. He should have been in a holding cell until he received a dangerousness assessment.

“Law enforcement agencies should implement a lethality risk assessment protocol in domestic violence cases that includes instructing officers to ask about the presence of firearms and other known risk factors for lethal violence.”

There is nothing more frightening than to be the person who asks for a restraining order for protection from a monster that allegedly raped her as a 13-year-old girl. She was not his biological daughter. How is it possible that someone who has demonstrated such violent and dangerous behavior cannot be held until his dangerousness can be assessed? Here in Massachusetts conditions of bail have no bearing on criminal behavior once released. Bail does not stop secondary criminality. The likelihood of terminal violence such as this, is extremely high as the court begins to move on the case.  Santana skidded through the pervious gauntlet and killed his victim and then himself. Rather than say that there were many things in place to protect the victim, there needs to be an investigation as to how the protection order failed? This case is an abject failure.

More needs to be done to protect child victims from known violent perpetrators. News reports say there were things being done to protect the victim. Not enough was done. The county court probation system failed this victim releasing Juliano Santana on three thousand dollars cash bail – thirty thousand surety bond. In all orders of protection, the perpetrator is required to forfeit all firearms. The fact that Juliano Santana had a firearm needs to be investigated. Did he have a license to carry the firearm he used in the killing? If so, this should have been taken away from him immediately upon the order by the judge on the day the victim went to police in Malden. Someone provided the gun, and someone knew that he had plans for using the weapon. The psychological autopsy can develop facts that shed light on these truths. The facts gleaned in the PA will directly help other cases like this one. The question always comes up as to how the guns were acquired or how the guns were not removed as mandated by law?

“The psychological autopsy is an individually designed case study that elicits a broad range of factual data regarding the behaviors of a decedent in the immediate day or days leading up to domestic violence homicide. The study is especially important when first responders and essential workers are involved. In all likelihood the girl lived in fear and terror” according to Michael Sefton, Ph.D. at a police psychology program in Worcester. This after incident examination can provide a good deal of information and warning signs that extreme risk for violence exists. These studies may add to the collective understanding of DVH – especially when family annihalation results.

We conducted a psychological autopsy on a man in Maine who murdered his wife and two children. This occurred just days before his divorce was to be finalized and two weeks before he was to be tried for criminal threatening. Steven Lake was known to be violent toward his wife and daughter. He violated the order of protection over five times with impunity. His firearms were not taken from him. He had over twenty to choose from when he made his move. This is what happens in systems where defense lawyer argues about eighth amendment rights to “reasonable” bail in lieu of consideration for the traumatized victim and her family. What modern society leaves its children at considerable risk for death in crimes like these? There were most certainly red flags that the perpetrator waved in the days and hours before this kidnapping and murder.  His anger was likely extremely high as the trial date neared. He would not allow the victim to take control of his life by sending him to prison where he belonged.

Someone knew that this was going to happen and said nothing. Maybe a family member or co-worker. He may have contacted the victim wanting to apologize or threaten her against telling the truth. Or her family was threatened?  But it is quite likely the unnamed 16-year-old lived in fear that her tormentor may strike and take her again. Just as he did on Thursday in late June as she walked to her home.  It is vital to future cases of domestic violence that common red flags do not become holes in the safety plan of victims seeking safety and protection. The results of the psychological autopsy of Steven Lake were presented to the Maine Attorney General’s DV Homicide Review Board. The document is 75 pages long and offers over 50 recommendations for lowering risk and lowering deaths by DV.

Governor Charlie Baker had the right idea and proposed it to the legislature that allows the court to require a dangerousness evaluation in the case of rape and other crimes. We learned that this failed in 2022 as too expansive a mandate with too few resources to hold perpetrators accountable.  Why? The Middlesex County D.A. should bring this to life and use the event to highlight the imbalance in domestic violence prosecution and the protections it gives to perpetrators from (low bail) and the fear it drowns its victims who feel unprotected. Even having an ankle monitor did not work until it was too late and provided no “real time” monitoring. If it had, then Santana could have been tracked when he diverted from his given route and came to Acton to murder his stepdaughter.  

Everytown Research & Policy is a program of Everytown for Gun Safety Support Fund, an independent, non-partisan organization dedicated to understanding and reducing gun violence.

Harlem domestic violence homicide calls for transparent psychological autopsy

The psychological autopsy is an individually designed case study that elicits a broad range of factual data regarding the behaviors of a decedent in the immediate day or days leading up to domestic violence homicide. The study is especially important when first responders and essential workers are involved all the while a pandemic ravages the city in which they live. Michael Sefton, Ph.D. Direct Decision Institute, Inc.

The recent domestic violence homicide in Harlem raises the specter of an essential city worker who killed his sister-in-law while his wife called for help. The police stopped the attack resulting in the death of Ubaldo Gomez but not before he shot and stabbed a women in the head with a kitchen knife. The fact is that domestic violence has increased during the pandemic as it does at other of life’s stress points. Did the fact that the alleged murderer was an MTA employee considered to be “essential personnel” have an impact on his mental health that may have been foreseen? What role, if any, did his role as an auxiliary police officer for the NYPD have in the terminal event? A psychological autopsy would answers these questions and establish a worst case scenario of frontline exposure to trauma and possibly offer insight into underlying history that may have been anticipated and stopped. Certainly the hierarchy at 1 Police Plaza will have an interest in this case. The Corona virus has added to risk of DV and DHV.

For too many women who are abused repeatedly during times of crisis there is no place to run and no one to keep them safe. Orders of protection are ineffective and without GPS monitoring and they are nearly impossible to enforce. In a 2011 domestic violence homicide in Maine, the protective order was violated 4 times by Steven Lake who killed his wife and children in Dexter before killing himself in June 2011. That alone was grounds to hold Lake without bail. No police agency removed access to his collection of over twenty firearms. The scene diagrams illustrate how Lake was armed with two firearms and a hunting knife. He murdered his children while forcing his estranged intimate partner to watch. It was thought that he planned a murder spree and he left 9 suicide notes. The final despicable act, as police arrived, was to attempt to light the bodies on fire.

In general, there is little interest in such a comprehensive post hoc psychological examination because there is no pending prosecution. Nevertheless, a psychological autopsy conducted on Lake in the Fall of 2011 revealed a clear timeline littered with red flag warnings that were missed or ignored. The research conducted in 2011 was done pro bono. It undertook over 200 hours of interviews and presented the Domestic Violence Review Board with over 50 recommendations for reducing high rates of domestic violence homicide in Maine (Allanach et al. 2011). The medical autopsy editorialized the case in its final report:

“Despite receiving some mental health counseling it is apparent, in retrospect that the degree of violence and anger possessed by the abuser was not realized.”                                                            Chief, Maine State Medical Examiner

This latest case in point involved an estranged wife, her sister, and the building manager in Harlem. The three were having dinner when someone armed with a firearm broke into the apartment. It was the estranged husband of one of the women. He was wearing his Metropolitan Transportation Authority uniform, and he had a gun according to the NY Post reports. In the meantime we have been told that the perpetrator was an auxiliary police officer and was licensed to carry a firearm. What triggered this paroxysmal violence? If it was foreseeable, then Mr Gomez should not have had access to his firearm.The psychological autopsy will address prior history of intimate partner violence, protection orders in place, work-related stress, recent health concerns related to the corona virus and Mr Gomez trauma exposure history, and his mental health in the days before the murder. 

Police officials said the transit worker, Ubaldo Gomez, shot his sister-in-law and stabbed her in the head with a knife, while his wife reached out for help. When Gomez refused to drop a 12-inch kitchen knife and tried again to stab the man, a police sergeant opened fire, killing him. In the end, there is always at least a single person who knows what is about to happen and often does nothing to stop it. A family member of Gomez suggested “he had some mental issue, something happened. He was always working day and night. He barely slept. He worked.” as quoted in the NY Post. Whether this duplicity and denial stems from cultural beliefs about the supposed “privacy” of DV, society must change the way in which law enforcement manages these cases. The buy-in from police, legislators, judges, probation, and the public-at large needs to be fully endorsed for real change to happen and for safety plans to work. Many states across America are planning to enact “red flag” rules that will remove weapons from individuals with a known history of domestic violence e.g. choking spouse during fight (Sefton, 2019).

Family members who may be in the crosshairs of these insidious events often see but lack the knowledge to stop the emotional and behavioral kinetics once they start. The fear of being murdered by an intimate partner creates emotional paralysis. In a large percentage of DV occurrences, financial and self-image influences as well as outright fear of the abuser by the victim limit moves toward safety. Therefore, a continuum of interagency cooperation is needed to effectively measure risk and understand the pre-incident red flags that are common manifestations of abuse and often forecast terminal violence, all of which occurred in this case. As the totality of these red flags comes into focus it becomes incumbent upon each of us to take action to prevent domestic violence threats from becoming reality (Allanach, et al. 2011).

It would seem to be vitally important that a transparent psychological autopsy be initiated to gain an understanding of the factual behavior that was observable and measurable in the days leading up to the murder especially given the likely unintended victim. Preliminary reports described Gomez as having a pattern of pathological jealousy and victim stalking. For her part, Gomez’ wife Glorys Dominguez called for help in the weeks prior to the terminal event seeking help.

active shooter addiction Bail conditions in domestic violence CIT Community Policing crisis intervention Dexter domestic violence domestic violence homicide DV DVH DV Homicide extended family fitness health psychology intimate partner violence jail diversion Law Enforcement Leo Polizoti Maine Mass shooting mental health mental illness Michael Sefton parenting Personality Police police behavior police mental health liaison police officer police suicide pre-incident red flags psychological autopsy PTSD red flags Resilience Ron Allanach Sefton Sefton Blog Social skills Suicide terminal rage toxic relationships violence workplace violence

Allanach, RA, Gagan, BF, Loughlin, J, Sefton, MS, (2011). The Psychological Autopsy of the Dexter, Maine Domestic Violence Homicide and Suicide. Presented to the Domestic Violence Review Board, November 11, 2011

Sefton, M (2019) Violence prediction: Keeping the radar sites on those who would do us harm. Blog post https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/msefton.wordpress.com/5012 taken May 23, 2020.

Sheehan, K, Moore, T. Woods, A. NY Post May 21, 2020 https://nypost.com/2020/05/21/man-killed-in-nyc-police-involved-shooting-was-auxiliary-cop/?

Investigating domestic violence, predicting danger, and containing the anger

image_502116fc-2724-4fe0-bba0-c375c3c85c13.img_0646
Dr Michael Sefton
Domestic violence homicide results when victims decide to move on with their lives and inform a jealous, insecure spouse that they no longer want a relationship. October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. The risk is greatest when victims decide to leave. At first glance one might say “Lots of people break up and do not murder their spouse and family” according to Michael Sefton shown in the photo above. That is a fair statement, but it happens enough in the United States and elsewhere that domestic violence homicide must be considered in the most egregious cases of DV. Last week in Massachusetts a family was murdered because one spouse asked to be let go and people were stunned that they saw nothing to warn them of what was brewing.
“Domestic violence is not random and unpredictable. There are red flags that trigger an emotional undulation that bears energy like the movement of tectonic plates beneath the sea.” according to Michael Sefton (2016).
At what point does a potential victims begin to wonder whether she and her children are safe? We are lead to believe that abusive intimate partners cannot be held in jail unless they are in violation of an order of protection, AKA: restraining order. This is untrue. But time and again, violent and abusive partners stalk and ignore orders of protection – especially using social media tracking software and trolling social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, and What’s App to find victims and watch their activity. It is all about control, pathological jealousy, and instilling fear and terror. Restraining order’s are authorized by a district court judge who is on call night and day in most parts of the country. Restraining orders are not authorized unless substantial threat to the victim exists.  These orders are carefully crafted by investigating police officers whose reports highlight the exact nature of the violence and the reason the victim needs protection. “Protection orders are offered to the victim after the first sign of physical violence. It has been espoused that the police are not called until after the 6th or 7th episode of domestic violence” according to Sefton, 2016.  DV is a secret affair between members of a family who are often ashamed or embarrassed to come forward for help often until things gradually get worse – sometimes years into a pattern of violent dysfunction. Research is clear that separating spouses for the night does not positively impact the level aggression and risk in the household as much as the formal arrest of the aggressor.  What usually happens is the police break up the fighting couple by sending the aggressor off to the home of a friend or family member – less often to jail unless there are obvious signs of abuse. Arrest is mandated by law when physical signs of abuse are apparent. It has become all too often the case that hindsight – taken seriously – may have saved a life. It is when they are attempting to leave that abuse victims are at greatest risk of death due to domestic violence as in the case of Amy Lake, a victim of domestic violence homicide whose case was carefully studied in the Psychological Autopsy of the Dexter, Maine Domestic Violence Homicide (Allanach, et. al. 2011) that occurred in June 2011. Lake’s husband and murderer was heard to state that “if you ever try to leave me I will kill you”.  In research conducted by this author and colleagues we learned that as soon as police leave the scene the risk for violence is increased. We interviewed a man who served 18 years for the murder of his wife and he described in vivid detail how he used nonverbal coercion to manipulate his wife while being interviewed by sheriff’s deputies in Maine. He admitted that as soon as the police were out of the driveway he strangled and drowned his wife for calling them. In our interview, he claimed that she was his best friend. In the end, there is always at least a single person who knows what is about to happen and often does nothing to stop it. Whether this unwitting duplicity stems from the cultural belief that what happens behind closed doors is “nobody’s business” or the conscious result of intimidation should not change the proper law enforcement intervention in these cases. Early incarceration provides opportunity to draft a viable safety plan for potential victims and in some cases, will instill a desire for change in the violent partner. In the meantime, substantive buy-in from police, legislators, judges, probation, and society needs to be fully endorsed for real change to happen and for safety plans to work and violent partners to be contained. 
Allanach, RA, Gagan, BF, Loughlin, J, Sefton, MS, (2011). The Psychological Autopsy of the Dexter, Maine Domestic Violence Homicide and Suicide. Presented to the Domestic Violence Review Board, November 11, 2011 Sefton, M (2016). https://msefton.wordpress.com/2016/07/20/the-psychology-of-bail-and-alternatives-to-incarceration/ Blog post: Taken October 9, 2019

Desperate Victim’s plea for help

DV_note B&W
Victim passed this note to Veterinarian staff – Photo VCSD

WESTBOROUGH, MA  June 6, 2018 A case of domestic violence unfolded on Memorial Day weekend in Volusia County, Florida when a female victim was being held by her live-in boyfriend. The note implores staff members of the DeLand Animal Hospital to call police because her partner was threatening her and had a gun.  These kinds of desperate measures occur occasionally and are dramatic and newsworthy. The staff at the DeLand Animal Hospital are to be commended.  But there are intimate partners everywhere who live in fear just as the indomitable victim who passed this note had been living.

“From coast to coast LEO’s are caught in this moth eaten, patchwork system that lacks resources for both the mentally ill and those addicted to alcohol and drugs.” Michael Sefton, Ph.D. 2018

As the story goes, her boyfriend had beaten her and was refusing to allow her to leave the couple’s home.  To her credit (perhaps life saving) she convinced the man that she needed to bring the dog to the veterinarian.  He agreed but would not allow her to go without him. Upon arrival this note was passed to a member of the hospital staff who knew just what to do.  The man is now behind bars being held without bail – manning his defense.

There is a consensus among experts in domestic violence that victims are abused multiple times – often threatened with death – before they call police for help.

As a society, more needs to be done to fill-in the holes in the system designed to keep families safe.  Safety plans and orders of protection are not enough.  From coast to coast LEO’s are caught in this moth eaten, patchwork system that lacks resources for both the mentally ill and those addicted to alcohol and drugs. The holes in the system allow for violence prone individuals to allude police and coerce victims into silence.  But every once in a while, a silent victim writes a life saving note and gives it to the right person.

Domestic violence happens in family systems that are secretive, chaotic, and dysfunctional.  This lifestyle pushes them into the margins of society – often detached from the communities in which they live.

The abusive spouse makes his efforts known within the system by his barbaric authoritarian demands.  He keeps his spouse isolated as a way of controlling and manipulating whatever truth exists among these disparate family members.  The consequence of this isolation leaves women without a sense of “self” – alone an emotional orphan vulnerable to his threat of abandonment and annihilation.

Successful intervention for these families must slowly bring them back from the margins into the social milieu. Arguably, the resistance to this is so intense that the violent spouse will pull up stakes and move his family at the first sign of public scrutiny.

Police officers are regarded as the front line first responders to family conflict and DV.  For better or worse, the police have an opportunity to effect change whenever they enter into the domestic foray.  This affords them a window into the chaos and the opportunity to bring calm to crisis.  In many cases, the correct response to intimate partner violence should include aftermath intervention when the dust has settled from the crisis that brought police to this threshold.  When this is done it establishes a baseline of trust, empathy, and resilience.

Community policing has long espoused the partnership between police and citizens.  The positive benefits to this create bridges between the two that may benefit officers at times of need – including the de facto extra set of eyes when serious crimes are reported.  But the model goes two ways and requires that police return to their calls and establish protocols for defusing future events meanwhile processing and understanding the current actions of recent police encounters. When done effectively the most difficult families may be kept off the police radar screens for longer periods of time that can be a good thing when it comes to manpower deployment and officer safety.

Violence in the Workplace: Do people just “snap”?

WESTBOROUGH, MA June 2, 2018  Violence in the workplace is commonplace but has taken a back seat in the setting of recent school shootings. Research on the “lethal employee” is becoming more reliable in the aftermath of of workplace violence. Nevertheless people commit murder in their workplace more than ever.  What should people do if they are worried about a co-worker becoming violent.  There are signs that someone is loosing control and may be thinking of violence.  A list of potential factors is taken below from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security publication from 2008. The term “going postal” refers to a workplace shooter or act of violence.  It evolved from workplace violence in the U.S. Postal service in the 1980’s according to a report published in 2008.

“One theory was that the post office was such a high-pressure work environment that it drove people insane. In the years to come, other cases of murderous rages by mailmen cemented the idea in the public mind. “Going postal” became a synonym for flipping out under pressure.”

RECOGNIZING POTENTIAL WORKPLACE VIOLENCE
“An active shooter in your workplace may be a current or former employee, or an acquaintance of a current or former employee. Intuitive managers and coworkers may notice characteristics of potentially violent behavior in an employee. Alert your Human Resources Department if you believe an employee or coworker exhibits potentially violent behavior” (2008)

Indicators of Potential Violence by an Employee Employees typically do not just “snap,” but display indicators of potentially violent behavior over time. If these behaviors are recognized, they can often be managed and treated. Potentially violent behaviors by an employee may include one or more of the following (this list of behaviors is not comprehensive, nor is it intended as a mechanism for diagnosing violent tendencies):
• Increased use of alcohol and/or illegal drugs
• Unexplained increase in absenteeism; vague physical complaints
• Noticeable decrease in attention to appearance and hygiene
• Depression / withdrawal
• Resistance and overreaction to changes in policy and procedures
• Repeated violations of company policies
• Increased severe mood swings
• Noticeably unstable, emotional responses
• Explosive outbursts of anger or rage without provocation
• Suicidal; comments about “putting things in order”
• Behavior which is suspect of paranoia, (“everybody is against me”)
• Increasingly talks of problems at home
• Escalation of domestic problems into the workplace; talk of severe financial problems
• Talk of previous incidents of violence
• Empathy with individuals committing violence
• Increase in unsolicited comments about firearms, other dangerous weapons and violent crimes

U.S. Department of Homeland Security. (2008). Active Shooter – How to Respond
Bovsum, M. (2010) NY Daily News. Mailman massacre: 14 die after Patrick Sherrill ‘goes postal’ in 1986 shootings. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/mailman-massacre-14-die-patrick-sherrill-postal-1986-shootings-article-1.204101 Taken May 19, 2018

The myths and risks to individuals with mental illness

WESTBOROUGH, MA April 8, 2018 The myths attributed to persons afflicted with mental illness need to be directly addressed and corrective programs must evolve provide enhanced understanding and awareness of mental health.  Police officers encounter citizens with mental illness daily and often are called upon to calm a volatile situation often with very little formal training. This fact is changing as more police officers are trained in Psychological First Aid and Crisis Intervention Training – 2 programs that afford front line officers with the behavioral observation skill and communication necessary to reduce risk to police and the public from highly charged persons exhibiting signs of mental health crisis.
Psychological experts believe mentally ill persons lack the higher order planning to execute the complex steps necessary for anything more than petty crime – more often associated with co-morbid substance abuse.  This is where the problem lies. “The myth is you have to be “crazy” to do something like this (active shooter). So retrospectively, you look at people and you say, wow, this obviously – that guy should have been branded – but alcohol accounts for a great deal more violence than mental illness does.” according to Joel Dvoskin in an APA interview dispelling myths about the mentally ill.
Remember it is a fact that those with mental illness are rarely violent and those who commit violence are rarely mentally ill.
Until recently,  here in Massachusetts many smaller police agencies are forced to pay overtime for police officers to sit in hospitals or outside of jail cells watching a mentally ill person who has been arrested. This policy grew from the fear of litigation if someone dies in police custody who is known to be a mentally ill person.  Specifically, if a police officer arrests a person with a known history of suicidal ideation it has been policy among many agencies to provide an officer to monitor the prisoner to assure for a safe transfer to court. If this occurs on a week end night that often means that someone must have eyes on the person in custody until the next available court date.
But is this truth or is this part of the myth associated with those taken into custody for crimes committed while suffering from a substantive mental illness? Or is the problem really associated with substance abuse?
“Pre-arrest diversion also has been shown to be successful when law enforcement and mental health professionals respond together to behavioral health emergencies. Individuals are more often referred to the services and treatment that they need, rather than enter the criminal justice system as an offender. This co-responder model has delivered great results in Massachusetts to date. Programs run by Advocates, a human services agency, in partnership with several police departments in Middlesex County and funded in part by the Department of Mental Health have generated over 4,000 diversions and $11 million in savings since 2003.” Diane Gould Worcester Telegram February 2018

Dvoskin, J. (2018) Speaking of Psychology: Dispelling the myth of violence and mental illness Episode 27 American Psychological Association

Gun-violence Restraining Orders

firearm-revolver-bullet-gun-53219.jpegWESTBOROUGH, MA APRIL 8, 2018 Restraining orders in cases of domestic violence have been around for decades or longer. At times people require formal court orders of protection from those who might bring forth violence to loved ones.  I have personally written over 50 requests for protection of a victim of domestic violence.  Most of these are temporary order issued by an on-call judge who listens to police officer statements over the telephone.  They are usually granted and valid through the next court day – generally within 48 hours.  The problem is that after the 48 hours is up the conflict between intimate partners has been long forgotten resulting in a waste of police resources and an irritated district court judge. Obviously this is not always the outcome.
In Massachusetts, the MGL 209-A covers orders of protection and its legal underpinning. Section 3B in MGL 209-A requires the removal of firearms from those with active RO’s taken out against them.  As many as 50 percent of restraining orders (RO’s) also called protection from abuse orders (PFO’s) are continued because the victim showed up at court and testified as to the protection she believes is needed and fear she feels living with her intimate partner.  These are not new and the complaints and dysfunction among intimate partners is a continuous drain on LEO resources.
Calls for service because of domestic violence are frequent.  Police officers are often asked to keep the peace at times when violence has occurred.  Arrests are mandatory when physical injury has occurred.  At this point police are required to remove the violent spouse and offer protection from further abuse to the victim and her family.  When RO’s are granted there is a growing belief that guns should be taken from subjects against whom RO’s are granted.  Experts say these GVRO laws are modeled after domestic-violence restraining orders that also authorize police to take away guns from people who pose threats to their partners, but with safeguards.
“Ensuring the mental wellness and health of first responders has long been an under appreciated task for the heads of police agencies. U.S. law enforcement has learned from tragic events over the years and now trains to respond to threats with the best equipment and practices known today. However, many chiefs are not prepared to deal effectively with the intense scope and unanticipated duration of the aftermath of these events, and many chiefs are unaware of the impact such events will have on their communities and the officers in their agencies.”
“These red-flag laws are a possible solution because they’re an intermediate step between doing nothing and trying to involuntarily hospitalize an individual,” said Christopher Slobogin, a law professor at Vanderbilt University.
“While LEO’s may be more resilient, law enforcement officers also quietly deal with an outsized share of our society’s violence and death. As a result, too many officers struggle with alcoholism, post-traumatic stress disorder, and depression.”
“You can’t just call up law enforcement and say this person that I’m mad at is a danger to me, it is not possible without judicial oversight,” said April Zeoli, a professor who studies domestic violence at Michigan State University. Her research shows these restraining orders reduced intimate partner violence by 13%.
“Research data provide strong evidence supporting the effectiveness of emotional fitness training to enhance resilience, positive emotions, cognitive flexibility, and emotional well-being, and more importantly, they strengthen professional pride and organizational commitment” according to Tung Au, et.al. in the Journal of Police and Criminal Psychology in 2018.
Felons, the dangerously mentally ill, perpetrators of domestic violence – these people have demonstrated their unfitness to own a firearm” David French, 2018
Supporters say the “red flag” measure—also known as a gun-violence or extreme-risk protection order—offers a way to address a legal conundrum: how to take action against people perceived as an imminent threat to themselves or others, but who haven’t done anything illegal.

Au, W.T., Wong, Y.Y., Leung, K.M. et al. J Police Crim Psych (2018). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11896-018-9252-6
French, D. A (2018) Gun Control Measure Conservatives Should Consider. National Review, February 2018
Kamp, J. and Mahtani, S. (2018) States Consider Laws Allowing Courts to Take Guns From Dangerous People  ‘Red flag’ measures are gaining ground after Florida high school shooting. Wall Street Journal
.

Protection from abuse: the role of social media in the reduction of safety

WESTBOROUGH, MA March 20, 2018  Greater protection of victims of domestic violence is needed.  When provisions for a plan of safety are executed victims are expected be afforded greater safety but not always. Domestic violence victims are at greatest risk when they make the decision to leave a violent partnership.  This often means having a safety plan – especially when specific threats have been made. Safety plans are often drawn up by women in conjunction with counselors who specialize in helping families stay off the grid and hidden from violent spouses.  In one case of familial homicide and suicide it was clear that the commonalities needed to be exposed among cases of familial homicide.
In particular, when I teach law enforcement officers about DVH,  I encourage detailed witness statements much as possible especially if the victim described the fear and belief that she will one day be murdered by her partner. These documented statements, if spontaneously uttered, are often the greatest predictor of potential harm to victims and her children. If written into a police report the decision about dangerousness and bail may be influenced.
In the 2011 homicide from Maine, Steven Lake used social media to track his wife and 2 children from whom he was mandated to stay away.  Yet, if his wife posted a photograph of his children he went to great lengths to undermine their safety by identifying anyone who “liked” the photo or commented on it. He used these posts to triangulate her whereabouts and living arrangements.  This was a large part of what marginalized Stephen Lake and in turn Lake posted his own propaganda espousing his loneliness and love for his children. Lake garnered significant support from those social media “friends” who knew nothing about what he had done to require the protection from abuse order. Many, in fact, encouraged him to fight for his children which may have been a catalyst in his festering resentment and ultimately terminal rage. He was provided information and access to his wife’s social media platforms by a family member.  For her part, Lake’s wife wanted to remain close to her in-laws in an effort to normalize her children’s life as much as possible. For example  Lake’s parents were invited to the family’s thanksgiving celebration but declined because Steven Lake could not attend.
Similarities in domestic violence
Cases of domestic violence have similarities across socioeconomic status, ethnic and cultural background, and the cycle of abuse. The growth of social media platforms affords those inclined to control and isolate intimate partners from persons who might provide them security. Cases of domestic violence share the common theme of intimidation, coercion and control.  Social media are a fun and useful medium to keep in touch with friends and family.  But it is also lends itself to sometimes nefarious trolling to gain a perceived advantage in undermining the safety plan. Social media trolling contributes to the control they seek especially when victims seek protection.  In order to limit the impact of social  media stalking victims need to shut down all social media accounts and activity. Greater protection of victims and family members requires a comprehensive plan with provisions for times when they are violated – including mandatory arrest, risk assessment and no bail containment if deemed necessary.
“That is one conclusion of four former and current police officers in a recently released report. The men, who were volunteers and had no connection to the shootings, spent the last several months interviewing 69 people about the triple homicide and suicide in Dexter in June, to suggest ways to prevent future tragedies.” Portland Press Herald, November 11, 2011
The Psychological Autopsy report suggests improvements that may prevent future domestic violence homicides:
 Use of social media platforms by people involved in conflicts should be minimized, to prevent intimidation and stalking.
 Protection-from-abuse orders and bail conditions should mandate disclosure of all firearms that are accessible to the domestic-violence offender.
 An offender who seeks, hides, uses or attempts to acquire a gun or ammunition when a protection-from-abuse order is in place should be charged with a felony and not allowed bail.
 Bail amounts should be high enough to deter abusers from violating a protection orders.
 When a protection order violation involves a deadly threat, a judge should set bail, not a bail commissioner.
 Global positioning systems should track abusers during periods of protection orders in any incidents that involve deadly threats or evidence of weapons.
 At least two officers should be sent to all domestic-violence calls when officers suspect violence is likely.
 At-risk spouses should be advised to live in as secure an environment as possible, with deadbolts on doors, secured windows, motion sensor lights and a land telephone line.
 People charged with domestic violence crimes should not wait more than a year to go to trial.
The safety of potential victims including children is the penultimate goal of protection orders but too often they are ignored via stalking efforts that include using social media to track the activities of an estranged spouse.  This overt defiance requires careful analysis and requires the arrest of the violator.  Once this takes place a dangerousness hearing must take place before he or she is released but this rarely takes place.

The signs were there: What triggers were missed on another mass shooting

WESTBOROUGH, MA March 1, 2018 There is a fine line between civil liberties and the need to keep Americans safe. As of now that line has not been crossed in terms of built-in protections from those who are most dangerous to society. But when someone who thinks he is being commanded by the neighborhood beagle to murder young lovers as Son of Sam serial killer David Berkowitz did in the 1970’s – can remain free to ply on his dangerous delusions? Berkowitz was a more obvious case of psychotic behavior and violence although ultimately he was found guilty of murder.
“The specter of mental illness insures a convenient scapegoat” Michael Sefton, 2013
Have we have lost site of what it means to deal with mental illness and keep people from being victimized because of a threat to the civil liberties of the mentally ill?  No. Everyone deserves due process but those with a proclivity toward gun violence who have expressed an intent to murder should be afforded closer scrutiny and be kept from having access to firearms. In some cases they must be contained as a means of keeping potential victims and the greater society safe.
It will be interesting to see the psychological profile that emerges moving forward although as of this posting authorities in Broward county are negotiating a guilty plea and when that is signed off we will not hear about him again – until he is lost in prison, or the next murderous episode is recorded. The local district attorney has hinted he may seem the death penalty for the perpetrator of the despicable actions taken one month ago in February, 2018.
“Civil liberties that have historically ended in mass homicide must no longer be “civil liberties” to any degree. That includes owning guns, knives, poison and baseball bats. People without criminal intentions and such homicidal hang-up’s tend to worry not about “civil liberties””.  Brian Gagan 2018
How can we not collect data on someone seeking information on proclivities toward violence?  Every time I shop on-line I receive hundreds of pop up ads for similar products I may like. On Saturday February 17th, CNN’s Michael Smerconish asked the question “would it not be possible to have a similar technology for data mining that looks for proclivities toward violence and capture their social media footprint” of those who might do us harm? There are algorithms used to track people’s on-line shopping behaviors why can’t there be the same data mining to bring forth those looking for weapons, those buying ammunition – as in the case of the Las Vegas shooter, and those who express their desire for committing mass murder via You Tube video’s, Facebook posts, Twitter, or any of the other regular social media platforms. In review of Cruz social media presence there were several red flag warnings of his intentions that were missed.

WHAT ARE TRIGGERS FOR VIOLENCE?


There are always triggers for violence, we believe, that sets a plan into action.  So far these have not been disclosed In the ongoing investigation. Triggers differ from case to case.  Triggers can be sudden emotional loss or overwhelming humiliation that is unbearable to a potential assailant. Triggers may also be the result of months or years of festering emotional baggage that explodes after some relatively benign insult such as being denied a date to the prom or loss of employment.
The red flags were well noted in his pre-incident behavior. The FBI had specific and detailed warnings about Cruz. He had been expelled from the Parkland, Florida high school because of violent behavior and threatening other students. He was sent to an alternative school about which we have learned very little. Outwardly, Cruz was living in the fringe of humanity and was known to be an angry violent person. Media reports indicate 29 visits to the Cruz household by county law enforcement officials because of conflict and fighting with adoptive parents – both of whom are now dead. Upon initial review, after his mother died in November, Cruz had been living with a family who offered to take him in after she died suddenly of pneumonia. His father had passed away several years earlier of a cardiac issue.
Certainly the death of his adoptive mother may have been an emotional catalyst – if she were important in his psychological life. Perhaps she shaped his fragile inner narrative sufficiently to delay this emotional maelstrom by  providing a positive sense of self -worth. It is not yet known. But it was Cruz who fired the weapon. The evil was in him not the firearm. More will become known about the Cruz family and his adoption in the coming months. So few of these perpetrators of mass homicide survive. Moving forwsrd,  I would suggest accessing police reports under the freedom of information act and see yourself what police were dealing with.
I will say that there are Nikolas Cruz copycats everywhere and we should be on guard for them – as I try to be here in Boston. In Florida, persons suspected of having mental illness may be held under the Baker Mental Health Act allowing for involuntary psychiatric exam. All states have this mental health protocol but too often law enforcement officers are not trained to make these determinations or are concerned about litigation. This is training I want to see begin to become part of the academy training for career law enforcement officers. The “see something – say something” adage may be a jump-start toward better control over individuals who brandish ideas of violence and broadcast their underlying emotional slippage on social media. These persons should have no access to firearms.

WHAT NOW?


“There is broad conceptual agreement that regardless of whether you view gun ownership as a right or a privilege, a person can demonstrate through their conduct that they have no business possessing a weapon. Felons, the dangerously mentally ill, perpetrators of domestic violence — these people have not only demonstrated their unfitness to own a weapon, they’ve been granted due process to contest the charges or claims against them.  David French in National Review 2018
There must be a mechanism put into place for the fluid containment of individuals who pose high risk such as the individual who pulled off this despicable event. As you see from the quote above, David French published an article in the National Review and proposed a gun violence restraining order (GVRO) that would preclude those most dangerous from owning, buying or having access to guns. Nikolas Cruz was on the fringe for a long time – perhaps his entire adoptive life. It may ultimately come down to an attachment disorder as an underpinning for his terminal rage triggered by loss and powerful resentment toward his adoptive parents and school authorities who expelled him into social and emotional oblivion. His prior behavior, mental health hospitalization, and active threats on social media posts would have likely

Cruz

Nikolas Cruz at arraignment in February 2018

 

made him an unsuitable gun owner.  According to David French, senior writer for the National Review, “the concept of the GVRO is simple, not substantially different from the restraining orders that are common in family law, and far easier to explain to the public than our nation’s mental-health adjudications. Moreover, the requirement that the order come from people close to the respondent and that they come forward with real evidence (e.g. sworn statements, screenshots of social-media posts, copies of journal entries) minimizes the chance of bad-faith claims.” in National Review on February 16, 2018. When such a data set is discovered by family, friends, other students, teachers, etcetera a court mandated mental health assessment and the gun violence restraining order may be issued.  California has used a system of GVRO enactment since 2014 with success. In 2016 over 80 such restraining orders were issued. In the case of Nikolas Cruz, he was thought to be the “most likely” student to initiate a school shooting according to multiple students interviewed after the shooting last week.  
The correlation between mental illness and violence is quite weak. Myths seem to exist that the mentally ill are prone to violent behavior and this is not supported in reality. Dr. Jonathan Metzl, director of the Center for Medicine, Health and Society at Vanderbilt University, said that these mass shootings highlight Americans’ desire to reaffirm a stigmatization of the mentally ill as “ticking time bombs” to avoid more difficult conversations about gun violence according to Phil McCausland reporting for NBC News.  I find it extremely important and compelling that Nikolas Cruz is alive today rather than among those sleeping in the morgue in Broward county. Most serial killers have taken their own life at the culmination of the terminal event and just prior to succumbing to the police active shooter response. Perhaps, one day in the distant future, Cruz will give up his secrets to an unsuspecting correction officer with just the right stuff to earn his trust.  If such a person exists.

French, D. (2018) A Gun-Control Measure Conservatives Should Consider. National Review, February 16, 2018; https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/02/gun-control-republicans-consider-grvo/
Sefton, M. (2013) The Myth of mental Illness and school shooting.  http://enddvh.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-myth-of-mental-illness-and-school.html Taken February 19, 2018
Gagan, B. (2018) Personal correspondence