I have worked with older clients for over 25 years first as a post doctoral fellow at Boston City Hospital – now BUMC. Long before the pandemic, my work at Whittier Rehabilitation Hospital has been to provide support and direct service to patients’ suffering from debility associated with decline in physical health along with the psychosocial needs and changes. All too often, this includes feelings of loss of control and sadness that is palpable in our short conversations. Many seniors feel invisible and the virus exacerbates these feelings. Declining health further instills the loss of purpose and amplifies the stigma of being seemingly infirm. The lack of purpose germinates from the passing of a spouse, close friends who move or have died, food and financial insecurity. It precedes a death wish and it’s associated demoralization. My mother was infected with the coronavirus in mid-April 2020 before the vaccine was introduced. She lived in the same nursing facility where I lost my 93-year old aunt in the first wave of the virus in May, 2020. My mother survived the virus but it has taken a significant toll on her physical and cognitive well-being. We were not permitted to see my mother during her illness and my aunt was alone on May 1 when she succumbed to the virus.
Trauma informed therapy refers to the critical understanding of one’s emotional history and supports the model of early traumatic experience being one underpinning of many mental health outcomes and threatened resilience later in life. These kinds of experiences have an impact on people who have had loved ones die while in lock down across the country and can engender guilt and helplessness. Often, singular front line medical staff are alone with patients who succumbed to the virus – sometimes holding the fading grip of another disappearing life. This heroic act of empathy happens without fanfare or even a moment to process its importance and acknowledgment of the person’s passing.